ABUSE POETRY
GUEST BOOK AND LINKS
MY FAMILY ROOM
Symptoms of abuse
More often than not, (at least for me) the victim does not realize that they
are being abused. We are beaten down so far, and so brainwashed (so to
speak) the abuser can convince us that we are crazy. They put us down
and make us believe that we are ugly, worthless, and are very lucky to
have THEM. There are many levels of abuse involving some or all of the many
symptoms listed below. A lot of abuse is so low level and has been going on for
so long that you may not even realize that you are IN an abusive situation. I
know that some of you feel that you can't get out or have nowhere to go. You
feel as though you have to stay. You have grown so dependent on this person
(just what they wanted) that you are almost frozen there. Let me tell you, life is
so short. Ask yourself this, if I only had a year to live, would I really want to stay
here, or go out there and find some kind of happiness?
Using Controlling Behavior
Treating you like a servant
Making all the big decisions
Being the one to define roles
Making you unimportant
Punishment for not "obeying"
Ordering you around
Losing their temper if questioned or challenged
Requiring that you agree
Making you account for every minute when you are away from them
Using Economic Abuse Preventing you from getting a job
Making you ask for money
Giving you an allowance
Taking your money
Secretive about income
Making you account for every penny spent
Using Coercion and Threats
Making or carrying out threats
Threatening to leave, to commit suicide, to report you to welfare
Making you drop charges
Making you do illegal things
Using Isolation Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to,
what you read, & where you go
Limiting your outside involvement
Using jealousy to justify actions
Destroying your support system
Alienating you from your family
Accusing you of having affairs, which leads to you being afraid to develop friendships
Being rude or hostile to your friends
Keeping you in solitary confinement
Sensory deprivation, for example blindfolding or keeping you in the dark
Using Children
Making you feel guilty about the children
Using the children to relay hostile messages
Using visitation to harass you
Threatening to take the children
Threatening to hurt you through them
Blaming you for any problems the children are having
Hurting the children in front of you
Punishing the children for something you did
Using Intimidation
Making you afraid (looks, gestures, actions)
Smashing things
Abusing Pets
Displaying Weapons
Threatening to expose your "weakness"
Threatening to "tell"
Minimizing, Denying, Blaming
Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously
Saying the abuse didn't happen
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
Claiming it was an accident
Hurting you while pretending it is just a game
Using Violence
Slapping, punching or kicking you
Pushing, shaking, squeezing, or hair pulling
Tying you up, restraining you
Hurting you with weapons (including belts, a chair, electrical cords etc)
Burning or cutting you
Rape